Always
by Avarellia Ebony
Summary: Contest story with WordNerb93. We've always known there was a story; now we know what it is.


**Author's Note: I wanted to do a story about Snape and Lily. I got my chance when my brother and I challenged each other to a couple of contests. **

**I don't own Harry Potter or it's characters. A lot of the dialogue here is straight from the Deathly Hallows book. That means I did not write it; J.K. Rowling did.  
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><p>"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot truly be mine." Voldemort explained.<p>

"My Lord!" I raised my wand, hoping against hope that I would have a chance to defend myself. I had not yet completed the task. If Potter did not get the memories Dumbledore made me swear to give him…

"It cannot be any other way. I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last," Voldemort decreed. He swished his wand, and I tensed waiting for the spell, but there was none. Then I saw the snake in its magical cage floating toward me.

I cried out in fear.

An ominous hiss came from Voldemort's mouth.

I knew then that this was the end of me. I heard a scream. Confused for a moment, then I realized it was my own. I fell, barely aware as I hit the floor. I watched Voldemort's mouth move, uttering words I could not hear. He took his snake and left, never glancing back at the man he left dying on the floor.

Me.

I had failed.

And then I was drifting… Back…

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><p><em>I was hiding behind a bush in an old playground. Two girls were on the swings, one with green eyes and red hair. She was swinging higher, almost to the point of danger. But I wasn't afraid for her. I'd seen her do this before.<em>

"_Lily, don't do it!" screamed her sister, distracting me for an annoying second._

_I refocused on the other girl as she flew through the air, having let go of the swing, traveling farther than any other person could go, any normal person. Her face lit up, laughing. She landed lightly, gracefully._

"_Mummy told you not to!" cried the other girl, but I ignored her, staying focused on the younger one. "Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"_

_Lily smiled and giggled. "But I'm fine." And she was. She continued, "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do." She picked up a flower from the ground._

_The older girl glanced around warily. Then she walked up to Lily carefully. _

_Lily held out her hand and the flower's petals gently opened and closed, over and over._

_It was amazing._

"_Stop it!" yelled her sister._

_The wonder in Lily's eyes disappeared. "It's not hurting you," she murmured, but she dropped the flower, wilting under her sister's disapproval._

"_It's not right." She looked at the flower on the ground. "How do you do it?"_

_She was jealous. I knew it. She wanted to be like her sister, like Lily, but she wasn't. She wasn't special. Since she couldn't she would hate it. It was strange to her, and she would make herself believe it was bad._

_Then I realized I wasn't behind the bushes anymore. I had moved, unconsciously, into the open. "It's obvious, isn't it?" I said, not knowing what else to do._

_The older girl screamed and ran away. That didn't surprise me. But Lily, Lily had stayed. She was surprised, but she hadn't moved. She stayed for me._

"_What's obvious?" she whispered._

_Could I tell her? Of course I could. She was a witch. She would find out about us anyway. "I know what you are," I responded quietly._

_She looked confused. "What do you mean?"_

"_You're…" I hesitated. Would she believe me? Would she laugh at me? "You're a witch," I finished._

_Her eyes hardened. "_That's_ not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"_

_Then I remembered. Muggles thought witches were bad. They were mean and ugly. She walked away to where her sister was, but I followed her. "No!" I called._

_I caught up to them. "You _are. _You _are _a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard." Lily's eyes were wide. She believed me! Then her sister laughed, ruining the moment._

"_Wizard!" she scoffed. "_I _know who _you _are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river. Why have you been spying on us?" Her tone was so condescending._

_This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. Now she'd never speak to me again. I had lost her. Her sister had ruined everything. "Haven't been spying. Wouldn't spy on _you_, anyway; _you're _a Muggle." _

_She took it exactly how I meant it: as an insult. "Lily, come on, we're leaving!" Lily turned away, glaring at me as she left. But there was a curiosity in her eyes that hadn't been there before. Maybe I hadn't seen the last of Lily Evans._

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><p>I barely registered the scrape of a crate on the floor and the sound of someone entering the room.<p>

I pressed my fingers to my neck, trying to stop the flow of blood from the giant snake's bite.

And then the world lurched and I was gone again… Back…

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><p><em>I was swinging in the park, later in the afternoon. I was trying to figure out how everything had gone wrong. Why she had left. <em>

_I heard footsteps coming softly nearer, and I glanced up to see a girl with green eyes and red hair approaching the swing set._

_Lily. She had come back. _

_She sat on the swing next to me. Then she glared, "You better not be lying."_

_What? Her glare surprised me. "Lying?"_

"_About witches and wizards. Is that why I can do these things? Is it really… _magic_?" she made the word sound mysterious and wonderful._

"_Yes," I told her._

_Her answering smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen._

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><p>Potter appeared out of nowhere. It must have been that infuriating cloak of his. I opened my mouth to speak but my voice wouldn't work.<p>

The effort made the world spin all over and then again… Back…

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><p><em>Lily appeared out of the trees, entering the little clearing where we met so often. On impulse I hugged her, glad to see a friendly face. She looked surprised, but a little pleased too.<em>

_We sat down on the soft grass. "Tell me more," she insisted, her eyes lighting up in anticipation. It took my breath away._

"_Have I told you about the Ministry of Magic?" I asked. She shook her head._

"_Well it's just like a regular government, I guess, but for the wizarding world. There's lots of departments, and it's all run by the Minister of Magic."_

"_Who's the Minister right now?" she asked._

"_Well, it was Nobby Leach, but I think we are getting a new one soon, or maybe we just got one," I explained._

"_What else do you know about it?" She was completely enthralled. She hung on my every word. I could stay here for the rest of my life and be completely happy, I thought._

_ "They run the wizard prison, Azkaban, where they keep the dementors—"_

_ "Dementors? What are those?" she interrupted._

_ "They're these floating creatures that make you feel like you'll never be happy again. And they can suck out your soul! That's why they guard Azkaban. Nobody can escape from there. They also track wizards with the Trace on them," I continued._

_ "The Trace?" She was confused again. I forgot sometimes, that she barely knew anything about the world she would live in._

_ "That's how they track underage wizards and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."_

_ "But I _have _done magic outside school!" she cried in fright._

_ I quickly reassured her, "We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven and they start training you, then you've got to go careful."_

_ For once she was quiet. She picked up a stick, playing with it a little. Then she surprise me by dropping it and leaning towards me, "It _is _real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is _real, isn't it?_

_ I was a little hurt that she didn't believe me, but she did really care what her sister thought. "It's real for us. Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."_

_ "Really?" I heard the hope and longing in her voice; I knew she wanted to believe me._

_ "Definitely."_

_ "And will it really come by owl?" she sounded a little doubtful._

_ "Normally. But you're Muggle-born, so someone form the school will have to come and explain to you parents." I told her._

_ She hesitated, then seemed to make a decision. "Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?"_

_ My mother had always told me that blood mattered. Purebloods were the best and Mudbloods were not worth anything. When I asked her why she married a Muggle she always told me she didn't know. Then she'd tell me to look at where she was now. Always fighting, never happy. My father never liked me either. _

_ I watched her face. Her green eyes anxious for my answer, her red hair falling around her face. _

"_No. It doesn't make any difference."_

"_Good," she smiled at me, her worry disappearing with my reassurance._

"_You've got loads of magic. I saw that. All the time I was watching you…" I tried to justify it to myself as she stretched out in the grass. Her hair was dark against the grass, but it made her skin look almost white. I watched her, saving the memory in my head._

"_How are things at your house?" she asked unexpectedly._

_I tried to keep my face smooth, but was pretty sure I didn't succeed. "Fine."_

"_They're not arguing anymore?"_

_I tried not to sigh in frustration. "Oh yes, they're arguing. But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."_

_She kept at it. "Doesn't your dad like magic?"_

_I grimaced. "He doesn't like anything, much."_

"_Severus?"_

_I smiled. My name sounded so much nicer coming out of her mouth, in her voice. "Yeah?"_

_Her face was smooth, her smile gone. "Tell me about the dementors again."_

_I frowned, confused. "What d'you want to know about them for?"_

"_If I used magic outside the school—" she began._

_I saw what she meant and cut her off. "They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too—"I broke off, realizing what I was about to say. Besides, I had already told her about Azkaban; I was just repeating myself._

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><p>I cut off the rest of that memory. It had ended badly, as most of them had. I grabbed the front of Potter's robes, managing to gasp, "Take… it…. Take… it…." I felt the memories swimming around my face. The Granger girl appeared, conjured a flask, and shoved it into Potter's hands. Though she was an insufferable know-it-all, her knowledge had finally come in handy.<p>

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><p><em>He was on Platform 9 ¾, watching Lily and her sister fight, Lily's green eyes swimming with tears.<em>

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><p>Potter was taking the silvery essence of his memories, the ones Dumbledore had told him Potter must see.<p>

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><p><em>Professor McGonagall called, "Evans, Lily!" She jumped up to sit on the stool and put on the Sorting Hat. <em>

"Gryffindor_!"_

_I groaned. As she walked to her table she glanced at me, smiling sadly. Her eyes whispered a message just for me. 'I'm sorry' they cried._

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><p>I felt my grip on Potter's robes loosening, the strength leaving my fingers, my hands.<p>

And still I remembered… The best memory of all, but also the worst.

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><p><em>It was our fourth year, just after Christmas. The students had come back from home and tomorrow classes were starting up again. I was in the library with Lily, who was looking for books to help her with her studies. Not that she needed them. <em>

"… _and we went skiing. Do you know what skiing is?"_

_I pulled myself back from listening to the sound of her voice, the inflection she put into her words, words that meant nothing to me. "No."_

"_Well you put the skis, like long plastic boards, on your feet, and you slide down the side of a mountain in the snow," she explained._

"_Sounds silly. Or dangerous. Did you take your wand?"_

"_Oh it isn't that dangerous. It's fun. I did pretty well for my first time," she smiled. "How was your holiday?"_

"_It wasn't as interesting as yours. I stayed here remember?" I muttered._

"_I know. I thought about you, here by yourself. Didn't you have any fun? I hoped you would do something interesting. Then you'd have something to tell me when I came back." She sighed. _

"_Oh. Well if I had known that I might have done something worth telling you about," I mentioned._

_She shook her head. "That's not what I meant, Sev."_

"_What did you mean then?" I asked, getting caught up in her eyes. They looked sad. Sad for me?_

"_You seem to be always waiting for me. You wait for me to come back from the holidays. You wait for me to tell you about the things I've done. You listen to me talk like you're starving for adventure. But you never do anything. Why?" she whispered._

_I shrugged, "I don't need to. You tell me about everything you do." She didn't say anything more._

_We left the library after getting the books she wanted and I walked her to the entrance to her common room, just like I always did. _

_She stopped at the portrait, and I turned to leave so she could let herself in, but she stopped me, "Wait."_

_I faced her again, waiting for her to explain._

_She half-smiled, and whispered, "See. Waiting again." _

_It took me a moment to realize she was referring to our conversation in the library, and when I did she was standing right in front of me, closer than before. She put her books down next to the wall. _

"_I don't mind," I told her honestly._

"_I do," she frowned. Then she leaned in and kissed me. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and my hands went to her waist. It was amazing and life-changing and wonderful. _

_Then she pulled back gently. I came to my senses. I pushed her away and looked around._

"_What'd you do that for?" I demanded, and it came out harsher than I expected._

_Her face fell, and she stepped back. She picked up her books. "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again," she promised, keeping her eyes on the floor._

"_Lily—" _

"_Just go!" she commanded. I went. That's what she wanted._

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><p>I had ruined it. Maybe it would have been different. But it was still the best memory I had. I looked at Potter, and his eyes. Lily's eyes.<p>

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><p><em>I watched my Patronus, the silver doe, as she faded away. My vision blurred.<em>

"_After all this time?"_

"_Always," I whispered._

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><p>Potter's face came back into focus. "Look… at… me…." I managed to gasp. His eyes, her eyes, came up and locked on mine. Then I felt myself slip away, into darkness.<p>

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><p>Slowly, two green spots emerged out of the darkness that surrounded me. A face came into view next. Her face.<p>

"_Lily."_

She smiled at me sadly. "You did so much. My son. You helped him through everything, kept him safe."

"_I did it for you, Lily. It was all for you."_

"I know," she whispered, "I was watching you."

"_I loved you. I always loved you."_

"I know," her voice was fading.

"_Don't go!"_

"I'm sorry, Sev. I have to. He's calling me. I have to help him," her voice disappeared.

"_I still love you. I will always love you. Why do you always leave me for Potter?"_

"I'll find you," I vowed in the darkness.

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><p><strong>There it is. How is it? Review please! No flames. Also check out WordNerb93's Holding On. I'll put a poll on my profile for those who'd like to vote which is better. Thanks!<br>**


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